AUS 4

this is a record of the stuff I bought. the things in DFOs are freaking cheap.

Rain.

i think i'm going to start on the pile of books tomorrow. after another DFO of course.

---

it was how i pictured it - two people who loved each other endlessly but were wickedly separated by a thousand miles, are now standing at both ends of the same road, under the rain.

we didn't run towards each other like in the movies. We just... stood there, in silent ecstasy, grappling the fact that three years of disunion was finally over.

we stood still till our clothes were entirely drenched, then we started walking... and i guess the anticipation was too much, because we broke into a run barely a few steps forward and hugged each other like the world around was crumbling. i cried, she cried, and the rain seemed like the most beautiful setting we could wish for. it felt like time never existed and the rain would poured on and on.

"do you remember what you told me? you said 'if love was a rainbow, there'd be no point in loving since it would be too easy.'" she whispered into my ear, "you said that love was a tough road two people had to go through, together, in order to appreciate one another. I'd never forgotten that since I've left. It gave me a reason to pull through, and it gave me a reason to what it was I'm doing. I used to think that you gave me credit for having so much strength sometimes. And I'm always so deeply afraid that I would just give in and shatter. Not anymore. Not now. "

I didn't say anything. I tightened my grip around her, and I kept reminding myself that this was all real.

"I searched breathlessly for you."

---

Inspiration:

"Just like that. From a hundred miles an hour to asleep in a nanosecond. I wanted so badly to lie down next to her on the couch, to wrap my arms around her and sleep. Not fuck, like in those movies. Not even have sex. Just sleep together, in the most innocent sense of the phrase. But I lacked the courage and she had a boyfriend and I was gawky and she was gorgeous and I has hopelessly boring and she was endlessly fascinating. So I walked back to my room and collapsed on the bottom bunk, thinking that if people were rain, I was drizzle and she was a hurricane"

-Looking for Alaska by John Green

AUS 3

say it ain't so, say i'm happy again
say it's over, say i'm dreaming
say i'm better than you left me
say you're sorry, i can take it


say you'll wait, say you won't
say you love me, say you don't
i can make my own mistakes
let it bend, before it breaks


---

YESTERDAY I:

ate ramen and watched epic Grey's Anatomy episodes.

TODAY I WENT TO:

google.

google: the enormity of the area.

which is one of the many (3) DFO's in Melbourne (*there's only one DFO in other states except Queensland so yeah, pretty big deal)

WHERE I GOT STUFF FROM:

COTTON ON, LEVI'S, factorie (their shorts are freaking awesome);

at ridiculously cheap prices (since it's a DFO and all). But really, insanely cheap. a cardi for 7 bucks, sweater for 20 and levi's shorts 25 each etc. even Tommy Hilfiger was a lot cheaper (89 - 120 each?) but they were still too high for me. there were a lot more shops (puma, Adidas, Nike kate spade etc.) but i figured since i'm gonna be here for a while more i'd might as well check other stuff out rather than spending a bomb in one area (which i could if my money-tree plantation hadn't caught a wildfire)

I THEN BOUGHT EVEN MORE BOOKS WHICH NOW AMOUNTS TO:

i've been buying books everywhere I go. yes, they are cheap too - penguin classics 10 a piece. (*John Green rocks).

---

give up ghosts

"sometimes i think i can feel you're with me. like in the middle of the night? i'll hold my breath and listen hard if you're there, watching me as i go through this cycle of pain and recovery and hoping you never left. where were you then? where are you... now?"

-Isobel, Rae