it was perfect...
everything, everything was perfect.
but we were both balancing on a rope;
this -- this intricacy we so precariously lived on,
we knew that the rope would snap one day,
or one of us would fall off. it was whether we'd survive the
breaking of the rope, or whether we would pull the other person down.

i don't know... perhaps there never was any rope,
perhaps the rope we treaded on was the faint love we both
had for each other. we were always free falling but we never cared.
but now... now the balance is upset and we've already crashed.

we were never perfect.

---

wow, it's been forever since i've posted in this dusty little space.

fire away, fire away

so i haven't been blogging lately, but that's because i've been out pretty much everyday having fun. i've been having the days and nights of my lives thus far with amazing company, and have met new people (of which names i cannot remember and i'm sure they cannot remember mine either), tried new food places and so on.

but this is the first post of 2012! i'm not as excited as i thought i'd be. i spent the last few minutes of 2011 guzzling champagne (you sip, i know, but we were in a rush), puked, met the fucking hot guy i've always wanted to meet, and the rest of the night was insignificant... other than at Play luh but that's a different story only my close friends will hear about. i do not have any photos of the last day of 2011 and i don't regret that because i know i will remember it.

i will be sappy and review my 2011:

1. met the most amazing people of my life. they know who they are so there is no point naming them.
2. kept the most amazing people i have met thus far in my life.
3. become more sociable, met more people that would actually get me somewhere in life, not to the extent of making friends for the sake of what they have.
4. discover more about myself and forged and strengthened my identity.
5. become more comfortable -- actually very comfortable with my identity.
6. (sort of) chased my dreams by entering a competition... and winning a merit prize. hey, it isn't a distinction prize but i'm elated to have won.
7. realise how i'll have to work even harder and put myself out there even more in order to make it somewhere in life and actually live my dream. super cheesy i know, but so true.
8. found and broadened my fashion style/sense
9. understand how things tend to be beyond your control sometimes and because there really isn't anything you can do about it there's no point fretting over it.
10. wrote... a lot. i'm pretty sure my writing skills improve. i've found my niche genre, which may sound a little pretentious but yeah, i have.
11. found value and importance in taking chances. how if i don't try then i'll never know what would have happened, what could have happened, what wouldn't have happened. vive ut vivas.
12. survived my A levels, which i suppose was the hardest period of my life.

very sure that there's a lot more stuff that i've learned in 2011, but of everything so far, i suppose my new year resolution for 2012 comes down to three latin words:

vive ut vivas

(live and you will live)

merry new year.

i have a few minutes to write a post before the song ends and i have to leave. still don't understand why i'm so busy all the time but it effaces the emptiness within me, to put it in an artistic way. life has been great. it's been hectic and exhausting but amazing. i've been slacking on my writing, firstly because i've been too busy to properly sit down and mull and wait for inspiration to arrive, and secondly and more importantly... i've been happy. happiness is annoying. it feels good, of course, but it's like the panacea to inspiration and writing, especially in my case since my theme tends to revolve around the grotesque, macabre, melancholic, depressing, and dark stuff. been trying to branch out into the happier themes like love at first sight or pure love or people in love rather than people out of love and dying or on the floor on their own pool of blood. trying.

i guess that is all to my life lately, having fun whilst trying to write. all will change when national service comes.

this song is beautiful: