Stories of Love and Lost #3: Waiting

so... school's starting tomorrow. i feel dispirited, somehow. but owell, it's the final year, which sadly, comes along with the A' levels and then enlisting. i wish people don't have to wish, but i wish life could steer auto-pilot and i'll resume it 3 years later. so much work to do!

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starts from:

stories of love and lost #0
stories of love and lost #1
stories of love and lost #2

after the row we had that day, i knew it was the end of our friendship... or whatever we once shared.

i mean, we did recover from the anger we had, about ten minutes after the awkward silence that ensued. what i meant to say was, we didn't fully recover from the verbal slurs we exchanged. it's like -- spilling a glass of milk and leaving the mess there. there was just too much unresolved tension. too much for us to talk about it, and too much for us to move past it. everything unraveled.

Stories of Love And Lost #0: Gone

it's a really short, prologue-like thing. i like inspiration when it hits at 1 am. and when it comes from an amazing artist.

continues here:
stories of love and lost #1
stories of love and lost #2

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"dad, what the fuck are you doing? what the hell are you doing with your life? mom's GONE. we can't bring her back. "

he stood up and i retreated. i knew what he was going to do the moment he looked at me but i stood there, like an empty shell. i wanted him to hit me, to swing his palm right at my face, because that would resolve my decision to leave this god-forsaken house.

i cried silently; let the tears trickle down my chin. i wanted him to see me cry, to see the state he is in -- for him to hit his daughter,  the only family he has left. i wanted him to see me cry because i hoped he would finally wake up.

Stories of Love and Lost #2: Make You Feel My Love

Adele is the best, ever. okay, she didn't write the song nor produce the video but her voice is phenomenal.

another long one. well here goes.

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where are you? i'm sorry for the things i've said.


she is alone in a London apartment. she is dressed beautifully, but her disheveled hair and smeared make-up indicates a ruined evening. the room is in a mess - pillows on the floor, table lamp displaced and an upturned chair by the window. the clock blinks 4:02 am. she rests the phone on the bed and walks to the table. she picks up an opened pen and starts writing a letter.

i know you don't understand the reason why i keep all of these secrets from you. and it hurts to know that tonight you discovered one of them from someone else... instead of me. honestly, it was my every intention to tell you tonight. but i guess the circumstances have made it impossible. and you already knew. i guess this is a letter to explain myself then. 

Stories of Love and Lost #1: Strangers

this is insanely lengthy (longest i've ever posted) so you might not want to read it (but i think you should cos' i like it a lot, haha)

inspired by (among many others listed at the end) Christopher Koch's Antelope Picnic photo series. I think it's the best photo series I've ever seen. he's an awesome photographer/editor. my favourite still:

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love at first sight,

is definitely ridiculous... but so very, very possible.

we met in a field of maize. but before you go ahead and judge me as mushy and tell me 'yeah-right' or 'that only happens in movies dude...', this is all true so just shut up and listen.

i said we met in a field of maize but i didn't exactly say i was all 'oh, i really should visit some maize field today and pick myself some -- maize', nor was she all stumbling upon a maize field by chance while walking home. as i said, not a fairytale.