Thursday, September 30, 2010

Sarah 2.


This ain't a love song,
this is goodbye.

---


Sarah 2


the cold steel slams behind her. she knows she is alone. everything she once had, behind her, it is now gone. it is what she wants but she is not sure. this world she's opened herself to was filled with uncertainty. and the uncertainty brought with it death, the porters. if they found her, if they discover what she is. she would die before a scream could leave her.


but it was better.


it was better than being trapped inside an entirely different world, a world detached from what is real. and she hated that. she wanted some sense of realism.


even if it meant dying.
-Rae

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Treading

she was a vanished girl
who felt untouched by the world
left in the sinking depths
kept alive by the darkening hour
she still believes
still believes

a mother gone,
a father non-existent
her family kept her going
the brokenness a lighting
she still fights
still fights

her forest set aflame
the haven she once loved, gone
gone
she had nowhere to go
nowhere to hide
she was bare,
bare

wrecked life
wrecked hope
the pain reminds her it's real
the dream she lives in
a dream she's living in
it keeps her going
keeps her going

she's falling, drowning
hope merely an excuse
to cover up the lies she's heard
that keeps her moving
moving.
but it's pulling her down --
suffocating her

she's pretended it's funny,
to live in a dream
pretended it's fine
to be deceived by what
she believed in instead of
what was real.

but when her walls crumble
and the dream she lives in
becomes the reality she's always
been running away from
there's really nowhere else to run
to run.
-Rae


---

Bolded sentence from Amy's View.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Helium Hearts



cos' we're on fire walking love's highest burning wire
helium hearts we're falling skyward
we're never coming down
we're so high the city below gets small and quiet
every breath just makes us lighter
we're never coming down


---

it's divinely unfair that Singapore's iTunes doesn't support the music store.
How am I gonna buy my all-time idol's songs then?
His talent for writing is unbeatable.

---

a random haiku:

the touch, when we meet
our hearts, entwined in complete
this love, simply sweet.

First Five Words.

Picture #33

Naked,
Hate,
Dread,
Despair,
Hidden.

Clearly, negativity surrounds me right now.

p.s, naked as in raw (or that's how I see would fit with the other words). Not naked, naked.

Friday, September 24, 2010

Tom.

there's was no one else in this world that possessed such strength.
I would see her in the dance studio, always practicing. She danced, she danced, and she danced.

I was curious why she kept practicing. The exams were already over (she emerged as the top student, of course) and the next one would be in 6 months time.
Despite her constant practice, I assumed she would be exhausted. But I've never seen her once, not once, miss a step. She always had this... this extra talent. Every swing, every step, was graceful yet overflowing with passion.

And today, she was in studio 2 again. I waved hello, which has become sort of routine after our eyes continually meet each other whenever I leave for home.
I decided to make the first move and went over to her. She smiled, like always, the sunlight casting a brilliant glow about her.

'hey,' I said

she reciprocated my greeting and paused the radio.

'I always see you practicing here. Always."

'yeah.' she smiled, 'I always see you leaving school too. Always.'

we both laughed, the tension somehow slackened.

'why do you always practice? I mean, I see you here, practicing for hours every single day. Why?'

Perhaps I never fully understood the meaning of 'passion'. But her next few words enlightened me. Her next few words taught me that 'loving' something is not enough. Her next few words, taught me, what a 'dream' is.

'it's because dancing is my life, and I don't ever want to lose it,' she said.

though she laughed, I could tell that those words she had said came from the heart, not words drawn from the air to keep a conversation going.
from those words, I could tell how intense her passion was, and perhaps, this IS how intense passion should be.

I don't want to lose mine either.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Ashley.

the last memory of her was of both of us beneath the willow in each other's arms. Her feet continuously caressed the grass as she stared towards the sea. not a word from her. i could feel she was ready. ready to leave.
i wanted to tell her i knew what she was thinking, that she was ready to dissolve. but i couldn't. i was afraid. was it because i didn't want her to go? or was it because i was afraid that once i'd tell her, she'd be hurt and carry on this painful life not just for me, but everyone?
i don't know, i really don't.

her family buried her in the church she had always loved. she wasn't religious, never. but the beauty the church possessed enthralled her. and just the idea of believing in something got her curious.
i wasn't there, of course. i couldn't. actually, i was barred. barred by her, that is.
she made me promise that i wouldn't attend her funeral. she said she would rather the last memory i have of her was when blood still coursed through her, when she could still speak, and smile... react. that way, she said wistfully, it would be as though she had never died in my mind.

if there was anything that reminded me of her, it was her will. her will was so strong, so... emanating, that she could banish the grief everyone was feeling for her. you could say she was a light, metaphorically speaking. and the light within her overwhelmed the pain everyone experienced.

we all loved her.

i loved her.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Jess.

it was amazing how Jess was still alive. but it seems like as the days continue to die, a little part of my heart does too. i think my sanity is going. everyday, i hope she lives another day. but everyday, her pain gets worse. seeing her like that... it hurts. she no longer seems to be living, to be alive. and the only reason why she's still breathing is because it's what other people want. that's not living. i don't know what that is, but it's definitely not living.


i've been stealing sunsets for her. but i think it's time to confess. maybe it's time to grow up, i don't know. but one thing's for sure, i can tell. she wants to get those sunsets herself. and this desire is eating what's left of her.


i don't want her to be an empty shell.
-Remus, unedited.