A levels;

this is it. and i don't mean to be melodramatic but this is it; after 18 years here comes the test that will very likely define my future... well, unless i end up like steve jobs or something -- but no such luck. the thing is, i don't believe that a piece of paper can define my life (cliche hello). i recognise it's importance but i don't see why it's so important. but if it's gonna move me forward then i have no qualms and i'll just keep trudging forward.

good luck Remus, you're definitely gonna need it. seriously.

but fuck, i need to resolve some issue plaguing me from concentrating fully. fuck it had better be resolved tomorrow.
and it sucks in other news because my heart feels conflicted. i want to talk to you, but i can't because i know now's not the time to involve myself with emotional, otherworldly desires. but yet i want to because me, as a believer in love at first sight or very intense attraction at first sight, want to, lest you slip away and be gone forever. ugh.

i am so not in the right state of mind for the A' levels. i wish i had a punching bag at home - i could use some catharsis through a physical outlet.