that is such a sick video. inception soundtrack + high definition camera + amazing direction. wow. everyone has their bad days; was so freaking pissed with myself at the gym. stamina dropped immensely, probably from the lack of sleep (cos' i was up till 3.30am watching the election, heh) and all the junk my system has been trying to handle while i insouciantly cram this shit down my throat. wake up call to have at least 8 hours of sleep and to eat healthier or risk crashing. to make it worse i've been sleeping a lot, as though i'm afflicted with diabetes or cancer or something.
so i've made up my mind to wake up early tomorrow, hit the gym, freshen up, grab my books and head to vivo's starbucks (which actually isn't a really productive place but it's the best there is close to Fat) and
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dear body,
sometimes i fucking hate you.
well, time to get an eating disorder.
JK, i kid.
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whatever, nothing beats the catharsis of writing. play "i will let you go" by Daniel Ahearn (which is found at the end of this post) while you read this. i like marrying music with words.
i will let you go
you once said you'd love me unendingly, that i was your everything, that nothing would be able to break us apart. but that was once upon a time -- a fairytale that, as of now, is ceasing to exist as our relationship is on the brink of unravelling completely.
who are we? 2 years ago, we were so, so sure of ourselves. we were so sure of the life we'd be leading ahead... together. it was as though we were invincible, like we could keep on going without thinking of the consequences that trailed behind.
but that was 2 years ago, and the imprudence we've accumulated is finally coming to haunt us. we've changed. who i am right now was never a part of me back then. and who you were in the past has been completely replaced by someone else, and i don't know. i don't know what to think about that. do i love it? i accept it. but i'm not so sure if i love who you are today, because i'm not even sure if these feelings i have... had for you, come from the past or originates from the present. they say love grows, and if whatever i'm still feeling for you consequences from what we had, then what we have is not love. what we have is knowing, and knowing isn't love. knowing is just... two people in a relationship that's stagnated.
and don't say you don't feel the same way, don't say we'd tide through this like we would back then. because that is back then, and moving on is an entirely different thing all together now. moving on... right now, seems to be an impossible task without us moving apart from each other.
i don't feel ready -- us moving on. i don't feel ready at all. but at the same time, i know it's time. i know it's time we let go, time we go our separate paths not as broken souls, but as people who have learned valuable things from each other, who have cherished each other's presence for a really, really long time, and people who love, and still love each other.
maybe it's time we let go. i will let you go, even if it hurts you. even if i have to be the one who plays the villan, i will let you go, because i know it's for the best for both of us.
inspiration:
told you i'd write something based on this song. p.s, this is going to sound nerdy but i want to write something based on the video at the start of the post.
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