"When adults say, 'Teenagers think they are invincible' with that sly, stupid smile on their faces, they don't know how right they are. We need never be hopeless, because we can never be irreparably broken. We think that we are invincible because we are. We cannot be born, and we cannot die. Like all energy, we can only change shapes and sizes and manifestations. They forget that when they get old. They get scared of losing and failing. But that part of us greater than the sum of our parts cannot begin and cannot end, and so it cannot fail."
-John Green, Looking for Alaska
Every year we create a list of things we've always been wanting to do, and every year we don't complete all of them. still, there's no harm doing one. but i think i'll ink it on paper and pin it up after typing it. striking things off a list gives me a strange sense of accomplishment and satisfaction so i guess i'll be more likely to follow the list through.
In 2011 i will:
...
clearly this is inadequate for a year-ending post and i'll probably want to sum up the year in its entirety but i have a bad memory and they'll be reliant upon 'photos of me' in facebook. still, there're photos of such events for a reason. i would rather prefer for it to be riddled with photos but some of them do not... sadly.
2010 began with me getting back my results. i was (as always) expecting me not to do well but i sort of did. i don't have a photo of my results and even if i did, i guess i wouldn't post it up lest i look conceited and such. but still, i got a freaking 10 point (which still makes me sound conceited anyway so heck) and it made me really happy.
so in 2010 i underwent massive perspective clearance. actually, it happened nearing the end of 2009 but who cares. we had to submit our choices for whatever course/college we wanted to apply to. THIS IS THE AMAZING LIFE-CHANGING MOMENT I HAD WHICH YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE BUT I DO:
two years ago, beginning of 2009, if i'd already taken and received my O' level results, i would in a heartbeat, apply for Tampines Junior College (SCIENCES). but a year and several months ago, nearing the end of 2009, no idea what happened, still don't know, i applied for Tampines Junior College (ARTS). it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me. because two years ago i was hellbent on joining the sciences but major stuff happened and long story short, i found more joy in the arts. i realized what i wanted was (as much clichéd it sounds) always in front of me, which was English and its sub-divisions. wasn't very good at it but i loved it (seriously, i began writing stuff when i was primary 6 but they're all gone now cos' i realized how stupid they were and deleted them). in any case, i switched from a triple-science-a-math student to an arts student whose subject combination does not include any form of science (maybe math but that's because it's compulsory).
school started and i was in an awesome orientation group which for some godawful reason, i cannot remember if it's OG10 or OG7.
in 2010/11, these are the things to look forward to:
*TURNING 18 - AUGUST 30
*graduating college - end 2011
*enlisting into the army (well, not exactly 'looking forward' to that but it's what's next) - beginning 2012
*studying in Australia and - beginning 2013
*living there - henceforth.
Every year we create a list of things we've always been wanting to do, and every year we don't complete all of them. still, there's no harm doing one. but i think i'll ink it on paper and pin it up after typing it. striking things off a list gives me a strange sense of accomplishment and satisfaction so i guess i'll be more likely to follow the list through.
In 2011 i will:
- learn something new i.e. join a course (frankly, this has been on the list for 2 years now)
- build up my writing portfolio
- which means participating in competitions and hopefully winning them
- and also to read and write more
- exercise more for the army/whatever division i'll be posted to
- which is related to better time management
- study a lot harder for the A' Levels (mainly GP and/or Lit cos' they're prerequisites for the Uni course I want)
- you know, optimism and happiness isn't exactly a resolution since they depend on circumstances but... what the heck
- get a tattoo... HAHAH, kidding, maybe, i don't know. i have issues with permanence so... yeah. that would make a really good 18th-birthday-thing though. i guess.
- stay religiously fervent about my goals
- and, follow Coco Chanel's words: "you live but once, you might as well be amusing"... time to start parading in face paint.
...
clearly this is inadequate for a year-ending post and i'll probably want to sum up the year in its entirety but i have a bad memory and they'll be reliant upon 'photos of me' in facebook. still, there're photos of such events for a reason. i would rather prefer for it to be riddled with photos but some of them do not... sadly.
2010 began with me getting back my results. i was (as always) expecting me not to do well but i sort of did. i don't have a photo of my results and even if i did, i guess i wouldn't post it up lest i look conceited and such. but still, i got a freaking 10 point (which still makes me sound conceited anyway so heck) and it made me really happy.
so in 2010 i underwent massive perspective clearance. actually, it happened nearing the end of 2009 but who cares. we had to submit our choices for whatever course/college we wanted to apply to. THIS IS THE AMAZING LIFE-CHANGING MOMENT I HAD WHICH YOU PROBABLY DON'T CARE BUT I DO:
two years ago, beginning of 2009, if i'd already taken and received my O' level results, i would in a heartbeat, apply for Tampines Junior College (SCIENCES). but a year and several months ago, nearing the end of 2009, no idea what happened, still don't know, i applied for Tampines Junior College (ARTS). it may not seem like a big deal to you, but it is to me. because two years ago i was hellbent on joining the sciences but major stuff happened and long story short, i found more joy in the arts. i realized what i wanted was (as much clichéd it sounds) always in front of me, which was English and its sub-divisions. wasn't very good at it but i loved it (seriously, i began writing stuff when i was primary 6 but they're all gone now cos' i realized how stupid they were and deleted them). in any case, i switched from a triple-science-a-math student to an arts student whose subject combination does not include any form of science (maybe math but that's because it's compulsory).
school started and i was in an awesome orientation group which for some godawful reason, i cannot remember if it's OG10 or OG7.
do not bother finding me. i hadn't underwent my hair-cut defining moment.
they made orientation and school assimilation period thoroughly enjoyable.
then, it was when i got into my very first ever arts class. 10A04.
still without my haircut-defining moment.
and it is an awesome class. because it was. and it was here that i made friends with the closest people in school whom i would toil through the year with:
RECENT PHOTO. USED IT INSTEAD OF THE EARLIEST ONES BECAUSE... explained at the end. Oh, haircut-defining moment nearly reached (i can't believe it took me more than half a year to reach this moment and even more so, i cannot believe my year was plagued with haircut defining moments)
where we were nicely arranged in alternating colours. we spent a lot of time together, mainly cos' we had EXACTLY the same subject combination and our personalities are VERY VERY different yet sort-of-complementary. OKAY YOU KNOW WHAT, I'M BAD AT DESCRIBING FRIENDSHIPS, SO IN SHORT - WE ARE CLOSE FRIENDS LIKE FAMILY. I GUESS. HAHAHA. MOVING ON.
attended my first church wedding with old friends (haven't reached vanity defining moment - clothing and haircut)
kept friendships in place but... yeah. explained at the end, again.
and maybe the highlight of the year was when i got into the Europe trip. because i had never gone to Europe and it was with the best individuals you would ever wanna travel overseas with.
where i did stupid things:
like leaning awkwardly against black walls in museums,
and posing at nonexistent-but-there-for-display railways.
and on the last day, i spent the night not sleeping (but dozing off) with another group of people in the trip and still remain good friends till now:
missing: yipoh. RECENT PHOTO TO PROVE I HANG OUT WITH THEM AND THAT THEY'RE NOT HI-AND-BYE FRIENDS.
had the most orgasmic chocolate in the world with them:
which are the people i spent the last night in Europe with not sleeping but dozing off
--
by now you should realize the events aren't fluid nor are they necessarily in chronological order. my bad.
spent the year living a luxurious and impossible to upkeep life with them, usually dining at sort-of-expensive restaurants.
got my FIRST EVER CAMERA WHICH ISN'T EVEN DIGITAL. damn, my hair really was that bad.
face-painted for the FIRST TIME IN MY LIFE with one of my CLOSEST, CLOSEST FRIENDS IN THE ENTIRE WORLD WHOM I'VE KNOWN FOR 5 YEARS NOW (6 YEARS TOMORROW) AND FOREVER. hair-defining moment reached.
---
by now i am lost and confused because i know there are a lot more memorable moments in 2010 like my birthday (which i don't consider life-defining since i only turned 17, not 18).
in 2010 i have made mistakes which costed me friendships. i am sad that they are people who from, a friend, has become an acquaintance. of course i can't expect to make merry with everyone around me
(somehow this sounds dirty) so i guess it's a part of life (which now sounds sombre).
in 2010 i have changed outwardly in appearance. i am no longer plagued by acne (HELL YEAH), i got a haircut which i now really, really like and i feel i should show:
but isn't at its best - a result of me rushing out of the house. purposely smaller to show i'm not a narcissist.
in general, i am now more vain. and can even be considered vain and loosely described metrosexual (i don't like labels).
LIKE SERIOUSLY, I DRESSED BADLY BUT I NOW DRESS (IN MY OPINION) MODERATELY OKAY, EVEN LIKE AN ARTS STUDENT (sorry, felt the need to say it) mainly due to my classmates, lookbook and another closest, closest friend in the entire world, ZELIA (who made me more fashion conscious - which i hate to admit to. hell,she doesn't even know, hahaha). i now layer clothing, wear contacts (though unnecessary) and match colours better than i used to. a year ago i had no idea who (or in this case, what) Zegna was, how needlessly expensive but marvelous Witchery's clothes were (have you seen their awesome Chambray Dress Shirt?! I'm not a fan of short-sleeved shirts cos' it's usually made weird sized but their Rocks Short Sleeve Shirt's nice), what a pair of oxfords or victorias look like or how berms should be above kneecap length or they'll make you look like you have short legs. and my favourite brand's marc jacobs (i'm guessing designer too since the designer makes the brand) even though i have nothing from him due to the prices of his stuff. actually i think his prices are slightly above average, not exponentially above average (marc by marc jacobs) compared to LV or other high-end brands. still, it's gonna take a few years before i'll get something from him.
the vanity life-changing phase has just begun, so yeah.
in 2010, i have achieved things i've never done, like:
*topping the entire cohort for geography (it's an achievement, it is not me flaunting)
*actually wrote a series (Sarah, stories of love and lost, cities, etc.)
*can do 7 PROPER pull-ups, like those where you do 1 and go all the way back down
*attended a CCA and almost all of its sessions for a whole year. may not seem much to some, but it is to me since i've never done it before
*shed the bashful (is this a term for men as well?) clothing and joined DailyBooth
*can do 7 PROPER pull-ups, like those where you do 1 and go all the way back down
*attended a CCA and almost all of its sessions for a whole year. may not seem much to some, but it is to me since i've never done it before
*shed the bashful (is this a term for men as well?) clothing and joined DailyBooth
*and many more which i fail to remember.
before this becomes a narcissistic post about me admiring the phase i went through, i have also, in 2010, made/remain friends (already mentioned but i feel the need to say it again), with some of them being people whom i reckon will stay in my life forever (i feel shy to name them so i won't). i have lost some but they have made an impact on my life in a way that i won't forget them that easily. i have inadvertently created misunderstandings and strained friendships which i hope are now stronger than ever.
in 2010 i have learnt so much more, in terms of education and life. for instance i now know playwrights who had an impact on politics like David Hare, Kureishi, Nick Hornby etc. and i now know how to appreciate a poem instead of blindly and merely saying that it is 'a good poem' and how to read nuances and literature terms like iambic/xxx pentameter or volta or anaphora and many more. i now know how landforms are... formed, and which part of a hill not to sleep on when i'm camping in the hills. i now know more about the world and its issues through general knowledge and economics like how in certain cultures homosexuality or bisexuality is regarded as something to be celebrated for because it is seen as a person having another individual/soul/god living inside him/her... okay, i learnt that watching Bones but it's applicable.
in 2010 life has changed so much in ways i would never imagine. i am now in a place where i never once perceived to be in, nor was i ever in. i am now happier than i used to be with the way my life is. i am now different.
in 2010/11, these are the things to look forward to:
*TURNING 18 - AUGUST 30
*graduating college - end 2011
*enlisting into the army (well, not exactly 'looking forward' to that but it's what's next) - beginning 2012
*studying in Australia and - beginning 2013
*living there - henceforth.
in 2010, it is 6pm and this marks the final post for the year.
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