We keep jumping and jumping, but somehow can never go any higher isn't it? this place is suffocating. it's anchoring me down an ocean's floor. I love it here, really, but i find my heart drifting further from this place as the years pass, and lately i feel like i can't take it any more, like if i stay here for just a second longer, i'd burst -- explode, cave in. so is it not better for me to vanish from this place and never return? is it so wrong to dream of leaving this place? this place... that makes me unhappy, this place that makes me see how unfulfilled my life is and so much more that it can be?
life is not hard here. life here is dull, it's empty, blank and so many things other places are not. and perhaps that's why it's making life so miserable.
i am a dreamer and these are tough times for dreamers like me. but i would rather die than lose myself to nothing.
I THINK I JUST GOT INSPIRED TO WRITE SHORT STUFF LIKE THIS AND END WITH 'THESE ARE HARD TIMES FOR DREAMERS LIKE US'. yes, i tweaked some of the words cos' i used hard in the previous sentence and using it again would be contradictory. and i also used 'me' instead of 'us' because... gah, specifics.
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Week Highlights:
1. i think monday and tuesday were pretty insignificant, considering how i can't remember what happened then. but they were pretty much the cause of why there are two medicinal plasters glued to my shins right now (explained later when i recount friday)
2. wednesday: caught 'I Am Number Four' with Jia and it was awesome. Diana Agron was stunning throughout the movie (though pretty useless) and Number 6 was smoking hot. apparently, the upper forces don't like it when people's happy levels surpass the sad levels so my music player, which was conveniently left in my bag's front pocket with closed capped chocolate milk was screwed over when the cap opened (or popped, whichever).
3. met mich on thursday with the intention of getting new running shoes cos' mine finally spoiled after 3 years. didn't have time due to particular reasons but we did end up in artfriend and at wheelock place having japanese food for dinner; wheelock because ethel knows everything, including where the apple repair store was (but i didn't get it fixed cos' it costs 273 and i had to consider first). anyway, i finally got Adele's 21. god, you have no idea (if you don't know who she is) how beautiful her voice (and her) is. i am in love with every single song in the album. no kidding. but the best ones are (which you probably don't care): Set Fire to the Rain, Someone Like You, Don't You Remember, Rolling in the Deep, Turning Tables, He Won't Go. which is more than half of the album.
4. friday was amazing. no idea why i went to school considering how i can't do pe and lit's cancelled. still, class went crazy, so did i, and we started belting out songs (JBieb, Westlife, Backstreet Boys etc.) in the canteen and aroused attention from everyone. you know you're crazy when in a table of 8, three different songs were being sang (or shouted or chanted) at once. Tuls and I were doing what's my name among many others (like eminem and such).
went to the chiropractor with Fat (fancy name for TCM sinseh). the funny thing that landed me there was that about 2 weeks ago, i went nuts and began to run whenever i went to amore (which is approx. 4 times a week). and the me who never runs clearly could not take it and my shins started hurting. short story, continued running the week after and ended up with shin splints (wiki if you don't know what it is). so yeah, great, now i can't run to build stamina but at least i can still use the stationary bike to train. had a Glee marathon with her after that, before CX & YT came for tie-dye. lasted till 11 and yeah. t'was fun.
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thoughts from everywhere:
* i really need new trackkies asap. my current ones are officially decimated
* huge spectrum of talent in american idol this year
* I REALLY WANT TO DO TEETH WHITENING. probably gonna do it during the hols.
* i want to watch Red Riding Hood
* i can't believe i missed Never Let Me Go
* i am going to get the DVD for I Am Number Four cos' it's that good
* Do It Like a Dude by Jessie J is actually not that bad. Price Tag too
* these medicinal plasters are progressively burning me. and also soaking the room with its scent
* i've got homework to do
* visit Venice before it's gone forever (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5f_i6Ebrcdk&feature=feedu)
* i'm halfway through Pride and Prejudice but haven't got around to continue it
* i finally got an idea what to get for a tattoo that actually means something to me. because i drew it
* i don't know what's the deal with people and their unhappiness towards the porn industry. I AM NOT ADVOCATING PORN. but seriously, there is an audience, and so it's a business. it's helped people pay through college for more important things like medical or law school. (i read on tumblr how this guy did porn to pay through med school, and how another guy did it to pay for his mom's hospital treatment bills) and i suppose it's helped people go through tough times... i think (HECK, IT PROBABLY SATISFIED PEDOPHILES'/RAPISTS' NEED TO COMMIT THEIR RESPECTIVE CRIMES). i just feel that if something better will come out of doing something not exactly right (whatever right is), it's worth doing. think of it this way: would you have sex with a terrorist to save your family? technically he might still kill everyone (you included) but given the chance, anyone probably would. i think porn just falls within the grey area. of course what i've said thus far has done nothing but praise porn so the bad thing about it is probably how it incites/tempts people to commit rape/pedophilia and how it's actually kinda unhealthy (esp. if it escalated into addiction) to have a relationship with virtual strangers.
****** i think this is beautiful:
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